MARCHing on.

March is the third month of the year and was named after the Roman god of war, Mars. It was during this time that military campaigns would resume that had been interrupted by the cold as it was the beginning of spring in the northern hemisphere. March therefore represented new beginnings.

I don’t know about you but I went into February pretty hopeful that things would slowly change the tide in some situations but instead the last two weeks were off and stress-induced but it’s over and here we are staring at 31 new days that could offer so much more clarity, joy and peace.

I was reminded how everything comes to an end eventually and that includes these dark periods in one’s life and when it does how to embrace the new chapter we will embark on.

This post will be made up of three sources that helped realign my perspective and offer some hope, I will share the bits and pieces that stood out from them:

  • The end of an Era by Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts (let me let you in on a secret she preached her heart out here!)

Pastor Roberts talks about how easy it can be to be blinded by the frustrations of ‘now’. You ask yourself :”How come now does not look like what God promised me it would?” Sometimes now just won’t let you go. She then offers us a tip on how to survive the ‘now’ and that is by trying to be obedient and praying for the ability to see what ‘now’ is trying to teach you. It’s easy to feel like when you are stuck in the ‘now’ you are losing out on life especially if you compare yourself to your counterparts but perhaps see it as a chance of learning. Surrendering yourself to the situation doesn’t mean you are rendered helpless, nope. We all have resources at our disposal and if we decided to take authority of those resources and put them to work during this period of ‘now’ we are ultimately preparing ourselves for God’s alignment to meet us. You basically staying ready instead of getting ready and lastly be patient because to end an era takes time. So, remember these three words; resources, authority and time.

  • Get to the good part by Pastor Steven Furtick.

In sync with Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts, Pastor Steven reminds us through his sermon that the good part is still to come. Every process in a life has a dark part just like every human has a dark part but in order to overcome those parts, we need to push through them, not dwell in them. Sometimes we are too fixated on having a good life and we haven’t begun to get our minds, hearts and spirits in good posture. While God is waiting for us to get our minds right we are waiting for God to get our lives right a clear disconnect. We tend to see the good in things when the end of the process results in what we want but God calls it good when it meets his purpose. Remember this: God starts the good in the dark.

  • Ep 77: Embracing new beginnings by Dr Thema

Let’s close off the circle, shall we? So, you have come to the end of your dark period and on the doorstep of your new beginning but how will you handle it? Are you ready to fully embrace it? Dr Thema’s shares a few points to help us:

-Take sacred pause and reflect on what was and the significance now.

-Heal the wounds of the prior season.

-What lessons will you carry with you into your new beginning?

-Get clear on your vision and cut out the outside noise.

-Walk in your truth.

-What do you want to generate with your life?

-Be aware of the agency you have in your life.

-What are the daily practices you can do to that will line up with your next life season?

-Give yourself grace, the new beginning won’t be perfect, and neither will you.

I hope this will help cause a shift in your mind and heart the same way it did for me.

I journal every evening just before saying my night prayers and I thought I would share part of what was on my mind on the first day of the month:

“It’s hard to feel like the worst is not going to pass and that you will remain in the dark forever. The duration of the dark wears down on the faith you have even if it’s as small as a mustard seed. You begin to doubt it and toy around with it, you begin to mock it because what is there to have faith in? The darkness is consuming. It takes every little thing that you could be grateful for and diminishes it into another thing where you’re like okay you’re here, I still have you but what is the point?

I want to be in the good, I want to feel the good I want to relish in it. The dark has tired my soul, but I am shifting my focus and trying to rise above it. I want to feel the good in everything and right now it’s felt stagnant and dark but in this new month, I humbly ask God to show in me the good work he has been preparing. I pray for a good shift to take place this month. March will add on to my refuel tank and be a reminder that it’s going to be good because it is so.”

I would love to hear how you are doing and holding up.

Love

T.I.N”

2 is better than 1.

Affirmation: “My daily routine is set to bring me future prosperity.”

Hey there, I hope you are doing okay today. In the first blog post of the year, I reminded you that your words have energy and that we need to be more aware of what we think and say because that is what’s mostly likely going to come back to us. Well how are we doing with finding things that we are grateful for? Has it been getting easier or are you still finding it difficult? I won’t lie my emotions have been low lately and I have been fighting the negative words popping out my mouth ten times more, some days I win and other days I don’t and that’s okay. Everyday is different just keep doing the best you can, okay.

I have been very big on goal planning for a few years and this year I have a little bit of different system then usual and I thought I’d share it maybe it could be of use to you. I must begin by saying that you can plan all your goals and have a strategy to move forward but you need the discipline to actually follow through with the plan to see some sort of change and boy did I lack discipline. I knew that every goal I was getting was to put me in a better position, but I found ways to talk myself out of it and would end up reflecting every month and realising how little I did. This was not showing myself love, because loving yourself means prioritizing what is important to you and your quality of life. I can safely say that since last year, my discipline has been improving and so has my self-love. So basically, I have been showing up for myself and maybe you want to do the same too by planning your time better.

Below is the article used to provide all the information on the importance of goal setting:

https://positivepsychology.com/goal-setting-psychology/#:~:text=References-,What%20is%20Goal%20Setting%3F,and%20in%20the%20right%20way.

“A practical goal plan calls us for a reality check.”

Welcome to my 2-step weekly goal-setting plan (and the crowd cheers). I prefer writing things down and scratching them off but if you are more technologically inclined with such things then just find an app and do the same process.

You will need two notebooks:

Notebook 1- Weekly goals. You will write the categories of your goals for example: working out, mental health, school / workload, etc. The second column will be the days/dates of the week, this is also where your emphasis what you plan to do on each day. You will check on this daily to see what your schedule is like and indicate if the said goal for the day was achieved or not.

Notebook 2: Daily goals. Things come up unexpectedly on a day and this is where you will write down little things you need to do that weren’t part of your initial weekly plan. For example: email person x before x time. This notebook will be used throughout your day, to clear your mind of things you need to do.

I set my goals every Sunday and it takes less then 20 mins. If I need to do something at specific times, I just set alarms on my phone with the subject of the goal. I look at my list every morning and evening to gauge what was done for the day and to see what the next day holds.

Bonus tip: I have a weekly affirmation that I write at the top of each page.

Goal setting demonstrates that committing to a specific plan for a goal frees up cognitive resources for our other pursuits.

Let me know if this system would work for you? And what ways you currently plan your time.

Love

T.I.N


BARE20 wants to showcase Black Womxn Creatives if you are interested just send an email to : bareblog20@gmail.com.

“Order number 2021, ready for delivery.”


When we feel low we tend to change our food choices. I’m sure we go and eat something yummy (probably not healthy) to feel good just for some time we’d call it comfort food. But where does the term comfort food come from?

Comfort food: The term has been traced back to around 1966 when the Palm Beach Post used it in a story on obesity that discussed that adults turned to food when under severe emotional stress. Comfort food has overtime been associated with a temporary sense of wellbeing and making a person feel good (for the most part). Comfort food is seen as self-medication.


Now imagine if we were stuck in a famine (extreme scarcity of food) and you didn’t have access to your preferred choice of comfort food would you be able to survive the low days?
Since the pandemic hit us I think we can safely assume for the most part we are experience more frequent low days for longer periods, we could perhaps call this a famine and we are all searching for comfort food in places that leave us temporarily fulfilled. Instead begins to create a habit because but we constantly need to keep going back to it to feel some sort of relief. So the question then becomes is the food the issue or the source?
Okay let me take it back a bit. I was listening to a sermon by Pastor Steven Furtick titled Comfort Food and he alludes to the source of where we find the ‘comfort food’ to be the issue and not the actual ‘food’. He also touched on us going through different famines in our lives for example: some of us may be going through a famine of encouragement and we therefore seek our comfort food on social media platforms yet once we get off those sites, we still feel empty. The famine of being lonely can lead us to having comfort friends, people around us that make us feel good for five minutes. We become drawn to such relationships that keep us in chains because they are familiar and feel safe but forget that they keep us in one place. Some of us have comfort phrases, things we say to make us feel better but may not necessarily be true, “I don’t want to apply for the promotion cause candidate B is probably better experienced then I am and anyways I enjoy my current position.”
It’s easy to feed yourself the wrong things but because you are hungry to fill the gap you take in anything instead of truly scrutinizing it.
So how can we begin to change this:
-Identify the famines in your life.
-What you using to fulfil yourself?
-Is the source of the fulfilment good or bad?


You are feeding yourself to meet a need so spend more time figuring out what exactly the need is and how to fill it.
I hope you make healthier choices for yourself.

Love

T.I.N

Numbers 11: 4-6 ERV: The foreigners who had joined the Israelites began wanting other things to eat. Soon all the Israelites began complaining again. The people said, “We want to eat meat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt. That fish cost us nothing. We also had good vegetables like cucumbers, melons, chives, onions, and garlic. But now we have lost our strength. We never eat anything—only this manna!”

Steer your ship.

Happy new year (yes, I am aware of what month we are in). You have probably gone through the awkward hiccups of still writing 2020 when you meant 2021 and now here you are, past the trial month and fully subscribed in 2021. The ship is ready to sail, but captain are you ready for the ride?

I was listening to a sermon by Pastor Joel Osteen titled ‘Keep speaking victory’ he used the example of a ship and how it’s directed by a rudder. A rudder is a piece of device used for steering and manoeuvring a vessel, rudders are one of the areas where extra investment is spent. If we are to compare ourselves to this analogy, then we could say that our bodies are ships and our tongues are rudders.

You can’t speak defeat and have victory.
You can’t talk about sickness and have health.
You can’t speak lack and struggle and have an abundance.”

So where are you steering your ship?

Words are energy. What comes out of your mouth about yourself and about others has been growing inside your heart that when it finally makes its way into the universe it manifests and easily comes to fruition because of the immense energy behind it. So, if someone spoke to you how you speak to yourself would you be left beaming with joy or feeling completely down?

What’s on your ship? If I asked what you needed to be at a certain place in your life you could list me a whole bunch of things but what if I asked you what do you have right now to get the process going, would it be just as easy for you to list a bunch of things or would you struggle to get even five solid points?  As people, we tend to view ourselves as lacking and this perception allows for us to remain docked (stagnant) at one place but what if you focused more on what we had? We might come to realise how equipped we truly are.

Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

So, let February be the month you fake it until you make it. Practice speaking words of affirmation each day and writing five things you have in your life that you are grateful for.  Your situation won’t change overnight but how you handle it will and the result of that could put your life on a different course altogether. It’s time you speak kindly and lovingly to yourself. It’s time you create a space for yourself that fills you up. Its time to stand in the sun again.

I sincerely hope February is the catalyst for a positive change in your life.

Love

T.I.N

Proverbs 16:24: Kind words are like honey-sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

Welcome to your free 31-day trial.

“Oh, oh, the blessing.

Oh, oh, the blessing.

Can’t you see ?

What God has done.”

Sunday service choir_ COUNT YOUR Blessings

If you are reading this it means you have made it to the end of 2020. You really soldiered through every bad day and celebrated every good one. You’ve probably shed a few tears (I know I have) been frustrated at times and maybe even stagnant or lost. Some of you may have lost loved ones this year and had to navigate life with grief on your shoulders (I am sorry for your loss). We are still dealing with a virus that does not seem to be coming to an end anytime soon and that in itself is causing anxiety but again you have made it to the last day of the year. You really did it. You really kept going on, so take this moment to breathe and affirm yourself by telling yourself “I love you”. Also,thank you for spending some time with me on this last day, I appreciate it.

Let me let you in on a little secret, the new year only truly begins for me in February. I treat January as a free trial period to iron out the kinks so that I feel as prepared as possible for the year ahead. I will be sharing what I do and maybe if you also feel overwhelmed that we will be in a new year soon and don’t really have a game plan this could help you out.

Release from and into, list: This is a list I like to do in the evening before we usher in a new year. I spend time to myself and reflect on things that I need to work on releasing from my life and things that I would like to be released into. This can serve as your guide for the year to constantly check if you are doing the work that needs to be done to find yourself in a better standing emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. Take your time doing this list and allow yourself to be vulnerable and truthful.

Goals for the year: Goal setting is something I have done for years and still enjoying doing only because it helps keep me on track and it’s nice to see what you have accomplished over time. I focus on having at least 3-5 short, medium and long term goals. You can write short sentences of what you want to achieve or you can go in-depth with how you plan to achieve each goal, it is completely up to you. Spend the first week of January analysing where most of your time and money goes these are good ways to help kick off what you may need to focus on then take a look at what you love doing or want to do. We have seen how unpredictable 2020 has been so takine that into consideration when thinking of your goals, you don’t want to set yourself up for failure.

Visualize your future: Vision boards can be intimidating or overwhelming. I did a word vision board versus a picture one last year and loved it (also think I am too lazy to look for pictures ). Your vision board is meant to be a representation of your dream life in every aspect: from money, home, car, work, interest, family, travel, self-development etc. If your dream life had to be put on display what would it look like? I made mine a little different, I incorporated my year goals and made a year vision board and under each category, I wrote the realistic things I wanted to achieve as well as my pie in the sky ideas. Your vision board could be how you see your life in 10 years or 2, it’s really up to you and it can change because you change. Pro-tip: put this somewhere you will get to see it at least once a week, manifesting the life you want while putting in the work for it goes a long way.

Self-development: Reflection work is something I started doing later on in the year once I discovered Dr Thema’s Youtube channel. This has played an incredibly big part of how much healing and growth has taken place in me this year. If you want to begin the journey of ‘coming home to yourself’ as she would say then I highly recommend you get yourself a workbook and schedule a day once a week that you can focus on your self. It’s truly helped me unpack things about myself and my life without it feeling intimidating because I was in the comfort of my home. I have a flip file of every single session and it’s been extremely helpful in figuring out who I am again and it might be beneficial for you too.

I really hope that these points will help you navigate the trials and errors that tend to come with a new year. The one thing 2020 really drilled into me is to take things a day at a time and focus on what I can control. That is the same attitude I will be using going into this new year and I guess we kinda have an advantage now because we already know how life can be when things are limited for us so we are better prepared (I guess).

A new year is meant to bring about hope and I know this isn’t like every other year but I truly hope you can find that little bit of hope and use it to get you into 2021. I hope 2021 is less surviving and more living. May joy find you daily. Please be safe.

Love

T.I.N

From the bottom of my heart thank you so much for being part of this journey with me. Thank you for affirming the voices of black womxn by supporting this platform. I appreciate each of of you for spending your time on here. See you in 2021.

The purge: letting go of 2020’s bad vibes.

I really cannot believe we are a few days shy of 2021, what a year it’s been! I think it’s safe to assume we are all pretty done for. Some of you might be looking forward to the fresh start a new year brings, others of you may be less optimistic and understandably so. I am not too sure how I feel about the new year yet but I wanted to spend the last days of 2020 ridding myself of the bad vibes that I may have consciously or unconsciously accumulated. I am basically doing my year-end report, looking at what I set out to do this year and what I would like to close out on.

The eve of 2020 saw me writing my list of things I wanted to be released from and what I wanted to be released into. These all ranged from personal relationships to finances basically anything I wanted to see myself let go of and what I wanted to attract more of. Day one of the purge will be spent looking at that list and going through where I am with each of those points. If you didn’t make a similar list like this do not fret if you can try to recall five areas that you were really worrying about or that had a strong negative hold on you beginning of 2020, look at where you are in regards to them now. This list ill also serves as a catalyst for what to work on in 2021.

Day two of the purge – vision boards. I had really got over my vision board once we were going through lockdown mostly because half of the board consisted of things that needed money and seeing as my employment plans had been put on hold it meant most of my goals were too. September is when I had the guts to relook at the board and was pleasantly surprised at what I did achieve on the other half of it So, get ready to take a look at your 2020 vision board and the monthly goals. This year has proven that things can literally stop at any moment so I am assuming that my 2021 vision board will make room for life doing its thing. Note I will not be using this time to do a vision board, just simply taking note of things.

Time to face the year that was, this part might be a triggering process depending on what you might have gone through this year so please only do this if you in a better space. Day three needs you to think of situations that really tested you. Think about it and ask yourself “could I have done things differently? And if so what?” time, sometimes allows for us to see things differently and this might be the same for you. The second part is thinking of specific individuals you feel you may have wronged you or vice versa and writing a letter stating how you feel and depending on what side of the fence you are on adding an apology. They will not see this, but it is going to help you speak what you need to without the pressure of filtering your words. The last aspect is evaluating how you treated yourself and if you showed up for yourself the way you hoped this year and again write a letter to yourself. This aspect will bring about lots of emotions so create a space that allows for you to feel all of them and unashamedly so, once you are done either burn the letters or tear them and throw them away. This action will you prompt you to let things go and begin the process of forgiveness.

Day four is a love letter to yourself. It has been a tough year but here you are at the end of it and you need to affirm yourself and show yourself the love you truly deserve. Throw in doing something nice for yourself that you enjoy. You have now created room for more good things to flow in your space because you have chosen to let go of the bad.

This is not the year we envisioned but one thing I did take away is staying in control over what I have power of and that for the most part has been my thoughts, words and actions and once you go through the purge, you might feel the same way too.

Love

T.I.N

The virus is not gone. Please take heed to the precautions set in your country, wear a mask, continue good hygiene practices and remember your actions can affect others so be thoughtful of what you do and who you’re around.