It has come to my notice that we misuse the word Introvert, the same way we misuse depressed, insomnia, anxiety and my all time favourite anti-social. First of All, these do not come by choice, you don’t just choose. People confuse being uncomfortable with being anti-social big time. If you are uncomfortable with a certain group of people for your own reasons, then it’s fine but don’t align yourself to being an introvert yet. People who are introverts like being alone, in fact enjoy their company more than they enjoy being around other people. Normally, introverts are silent, cautious, observant, they take time to analyse and then draw conclusions. But this generation thinks it’s cool to just tag yourself as an introvert because it makes you unknown. How desperate are we to stay hidden yet we are all over the moon with our social media profiles. Is secrecy this hard to find, and is it a Desire? I like the terms people use, you dont know me, YES, i do not know You, and hopefully i don’t want to cause your tweets seem useless and empty, the photos that you posted, is that your grandma in her prime!? Then who? Show us who you are so that we don’t misjudge you or rather stay quiet.
Yes, it’s true introverts hate the spotlight, but the reason why they seem unknown is because they want to be unknown to ‘you’. And people choose to stay blind and green about them because they just don’t look into them. Someone said I hardly speak, that I am so silent, and honestly I just don’t have anything to say but here i am releasing 4blogs every weekend. As I speak am on my bed, my small table is next to me, it’s filled with books and pens And when I feel inspired i scribble. I hate talking, because people do not listen anyway and I figured if you speak about issues that people do not understand then you are not worth being listened to. If i didn’t have classes, throughout the week then my room, my ear phones, my bed, my phone and journal are my friends. I hate public places, the crowds are nauseating, the chattering is annoying, I just cannot cope with multiple people doing different actions at the same time, I need patterns, systematic patterns that are planned out, not multiple mumble jumble. It’s funny how people think i can handle pressure, for example my classmates think am bold when i stand up to present in class or give answers, that’s because i have already calculated what i am going to say, I choose what I’ll say, in what time span in fact in my mind i need to say these things in the shortest time possible so that i leave that podium real fast and alas!I end rapping and they think am a fast speaker.
Every introvert has their own way of functioning. With me, most things that I know will involve the public I calculate them, I follow patterns, most of my friends might not have notice but the first time I meet you I am just relying on what you are saying, finding out your ticks and the good especially when i want this person to stay. It’s so hard for me to make new friends so i put an extra effort when i really want this person to stay.
Since I can’t say much to people face to face, I write it down, if i am angry I write it down, if I face a challenge I write it all down. People say am complicated because I don’t say much or do much, but I write it down, people rely so much on actions, or what’s done, what if i don’t feel like doing it or saying it, are you going to force it out of my mouth. If you want to know how i feel it’s right here, if you want me to communicate more with you it’s through writing. I notice so much and how i process it All, is through writing. How hard can that be?
But someone once said if you want to hide truth from mankind, write it down. I guess I’ll stay hidden forever.