Prostitution, Prostitution, prostitution…. Vaginas are up for sell, people. Topics like these always get me in a maze. Like abortion, it feels like a human right but then it feels so wrong. Conflicting loyalties! These topics have a link with not just our cultural norms but also with religion. Now you get the maze am talking about. And I know what i believe in and I’ll stand by it but i must confess that there was a time when i found abortion or prostitution as a solution.
And I know am not alone, and it’s fine not to say it but I know you get it. When I had just gone into hostel, and at the time, there was so much about prostitution. And this man or woman, dms me on ig, I still have those messages, he said his name was Mr.Andrew and he has both white and black clients that are offering 850 dollars for 2hours instead of the whole night and that i can upgrade to les or stick to men. I was in shock, I used to hear stories but it’s here people! I panicked, I told him I’d think about it and he offered his phone number and email. I didn’t talk to this guy again, I straight up blocked him. But then this one time as i was talking to a friend, both our asses were broke as hell, and it just crossed my mind, you work for 4hours every day and you earn 1700 dollars just like that. But then again, again it was not worth it.
Free and easy money comes with a price. People have their reasons, no one knows the motive, whether its to fend for your tuition or to keep up your lifestyle, there is a huge price to pay. And in my mind, I feel like when you cross to that path there is no turning back whereas “bad girls” or “girls with attitude” or the “freak girls” are said to get the men, prostitution is one way to sell your soul.
Tough world! Hard choices! And with prostitution, you lose it all. I don’t know whether I should call it a sense of humanity or decency, people will still strip you naked without taking your clothes off once they realise you are a prostitute. For whatever reasons, deep down in your mind whether it’s known of who or what you are and do, you feel ashamed, undeserving, doomed, crippled, bruised and wounded beyond recognition. And that you deserve eternal damnation.
Same goes for abortion. “Tough choice, it’s your life, it’s your body, there is school, whose going to raise this bastard, your unlucky, you are not okay,” the world will always shout and funnily you’ll never get it right. As you part your legs, facing the white light, seeing the particles being plucked out or as you sit on the toilet and feel that flesh oozing out!
All i have to say is;
Am sorry honey, that it has come to this. Am sorry that you went through it alone. I can’t imagine the heart break, I know you are throwing away alot, your mind erasing dreams of you being loved by the right man. Am sorry that you feel soiled, am sorry that he asked you to do it. Am so sorry that I was not there. Your a gem, a sapphire, so get those panties up and get another job, there isn’t a perfect definition of a “real job” but i need you to stop burying yourself. This isn’t the way to finish your story. So come here darling, in my arms and tell me about it.