I do not know if he loved mother. When he felt the need to go on and sleep with another woman.
Whether he thought about its effect on us.
I did not realize the weight of his actions cause we were bound and trained to see the bad in mother always.
His death was sad but inevitable.
But one thing I realized as mother gave her speech in front of the church is that she loved and adored this man.
He was lovable and amazing with a kind heart.
As we cried and mourned, little did we know that his family thought we were the cause of his death.
Little did we know that life was going to get harder, harder than it was before. Little did we know that we were going to lose a family.
They preferred the second wife, and discarded my mother off despite her apologies and putting her pride aside,
they said all sorts of things.
They ridiculed her religion,
they said she was a witch who was out to get my aunt;
guess which one, the rich one, the one whom they all worship.
we are not perfect, no-one is but am not going to forgive a damn soul.
If you really want to know what a dead man’s thoughts and what his words were, observe his sisters after he has passed on.
You’ll realize how much he dreaded you.
Those women will make you feel like they are the only ones that actually loved and adored him.
Like they are the only ones feeling the pain of his loss.
The rest of you are playing games.
They’ll be the most scarred victims, wailing from corner to corner, crying of how much there will never be a replacement.
They’ll swear not to bother your mother in a church but later roll their eyes.
We did not have the time to fight. We have never fought.
We looked as they spilled out our father’s secrets.
Sisters will always know their brother’s lovers and will support it even when they know it’s a sin.
These women are not married, no sign of a ring, don’t get me wrong i love their independence but they had no right and they still have no right to speak such things about my mother or your mother.
Every day that I came back home from school, I would silently wait to hear what my aunty has to say especially when her sisters came to see her.
I grew silent and sadder and my aunt kept telling my brothers that I was not cooperative.
Am so sorry aunty, I just could not stand the look on your face knowing what you are.
So we are no longer children in their eyes.
The children of the other woman are considered more human and deserving.
Who knew this is what would happen.
Us being outcasts because father announced the other woman as the official wife and the woman who had been by his side for over 30years was nothing.
I honestly hope he is happy.
Cause we Now have to pretend like the other side of his family is dead to us.
And am not thrilled.
Am broken but am not going to go back there.