Throughout the different phases, we have been apart of different institutions and segments in the society that have shaped our growth. Good and bad! It has all brought us to whatever point of thought that we hold right now. There is no definite age for when one will find a stable identity. And there isn’t an assurance that you have found what you are looking for in yourself and whether it will work for you. Growth and identity move hand ard in hand. The experiences and the life’s long term lessons force us to change our opinions, our thoughts, and look at our strengths which force us to form an identity.
Identity holds alot of components and weight. It’s not just what we stand for or rather who we are as a person but it goes deeper to our emotions, mindset, character, opinions, mastering our limits and knowing our strengths. And with Identity, there is no way you are going to measure it. It’s like common sense, you don’t get to say someone has sense just because they have a nice suit on, you need to hear what one has to say and see how they act.
Personally, I took on very many identities in high School cause at that point it was all about fitting in. By then I hadn’t realised that friends are very crucial in this process of building an identity. My friends moulded my confidence, more than they know. They were a rock and even now they are still having a huge impact on how i think and act. Some friends did not last long in this journey but I realised they too had an impact. Whether we fought, or out grew each other’s company, I learnt so much from them and this has affected my decisions, my opinions and how i handle myself.
The one tricky thing with identity is that it doesn’t deal with mediocrity. You need to let go of the past and be committed to your present. Just like growth, you need to bend and break your limits. You have to be willing to focus and build yourself so that your future is shaped. For one to grow, you need to learn the art of unlearning some things while you learn others. There are no shortcuts and people should know that it is okay to reshape, enrich and learn from others. It’s okay not be right all the time.
One needs to be courageous and bold. Ready to move on with a new self. And it will definitely take some time.