Advising a home girl

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The dating landscape today is one of the hardest things and the role of friends and the society has become complicated and there is so much that we are expected to do. But along the way I have learnt that having some sort of distance and boundary when dealing with friends being in love is a priority. It’s hard to mark these boundaries and to be open to your friend about these boundaries but they are necessary.

Yes, we are meant to listen and advise each other on what to do but there is so much about dating and keeping your friends out of your dating business. Friends are tricky and you can never know what someone is thinking. And having your friends in the loop of your relationship is honestly not healthy. Some people cannot be trusted. You tell a friend about an issue between you and your boyfriend and this human feels the need to apologise and console your boyfriend personally and physically. Could involve violence or a more intimate offer. We can never weigh the wrongs but what makes you think that having sex with my man will make him forgive Me!? Well aren’t you just a generous friend.

Friends who think it is okay to bad mouth me to my man. What are you hoping for in exchange. Or the kind of friends that will tell everyone about what is going on in my relationship. Involving a third party in your relationship issues is deadly and now that seizes to be private and you are responsible for whatever comes next. Friends are human too and they can either mess you up or build you in your relationship. Remember a friend does not love that man the way you do, forgiveness might come easy for you but not for them.

So dear home girl, I’ll listen to all the good and bad that he has done. Once in a while, I’ll pull out the sister hood card and tell you that you deserve better and more. I really hope that the next blogs about dating clear up the doubts and show you what my reply is on some of those pending questions that you asked me. I am so sorry for being silent, I too have just learnt some of these lessons recently on my own.

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