It’s funny how we still hold onto other people’s pasts and yet we’ll bring out our claws when other people try to poke into our pasts. My biggest fear right now is an old rumour from high school. Former school mates can fuck your life and the opportunities up. If you are studying with me currently, it’s still not okay to talk to other people about me! Especially when we are not friends. Boundaries! Am learning to respect people and their pasts. If we were not friends in high School not even acquaintances, hun you are just a former school mate. Me knowing your name, stream and what subjects you majored in or whatever positions you had in school, you are not someone I knew. Those a minor details that everyone knew, it does not give me the right to talk about you.
With all that said, why is there so much tension when someone talks about dating a former school mate. Pull out your year book, it’s okay to look back and try to find a face and place it to this familiar name. Do not open your mouth if you do not really know this person. Let’s do away with ” I knew this boy or girl, she was like this and like This.” The tense itself is enough to show you that you are dwelling on the past. How are you so certain that this person is still the same!?
I will not leave out the fact that some times it can be helpful to look back and find out but focus on his or her present. Do not consult people who last saw this person four years ago. Find mutual friends that will tell you about his or her present or rather his or her current self. Unless when there is a negative vibe about a past lover or child hood trauma issues. ( in my opinion)
Some former school mates might discourage you or have a hate vibe due to unsolved school fights. It’s hard to trust a source whose reference runs back to four years or two years back. You ask if you feel like there is something that’s unsettling. That’s what they call communication. It’s all up to You, it’s your heart, your emotions, your life and your happiness on the line.