Bro / sis mantra 1

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” if your man’s friends are asking you out, then you should know that they think or know that their bro isn’t doing the most for You.”

Let’s start there. Your man’s friend is asking you out, I did not say your ex but your man’s friend. Be it his best friend, his drink buddies, his roommate, his band mates from church as long as he calls them ‘bro’, honey that’s his friend. And that’s one tricky situation. Does the bro or girl code really apply here !? What’s the bro or the girl code!?

In general the bro or the girl code is a set of rules, it mainly tries to streamline and put limits and boundaries to certain things in friendships. And it can be of great help. Most times a group of friends might take a step of even forming their own rules so that they can mark and emphasize certain boundaries. But there are some codes that we adapt to naturally due to society’s framework and how it functions. For example, you do not tell a lie about a friend, you protect your friend at all costs( the ‘solida’ culture) and my all time favourite you do not leave a friend behind.
Along the way or rather as we kept growing up, other factors came into place. Adolescence which tasted our fury, patience and loyalty and post adolescence( between the age of 19 and 22) brought in the; love and sex, the change in hobbies and interests, the search for identity, changes in the environment and friends, all of these are running down our throats and are exerting a different kind of pressure due to their dynamics. Thus the ‘bro’ and the ‘girl’ code have immensely evolved. And now it’s awkward and your integrity is questioned if you break up with your boyfriend just to date his friend or if you sleep with his best friend.

There are very many scenarios where the best friend ends up sleeping with someone’s partner. That’s why people are so scared of introducing their friends and roommates to their partners. I have seen people’s roommates getting familiar with their friends partner and later on they end up dating or having sex. The audacity of these humans. Honestly, a simple ” tell him or her to get online” or “she or he is not around but I’ll tell her that you passed by” is enough. Do not get too familiar. We are human not machines and any thing can happen. Avoid these awkward situations that will lead to people wondering how you function. And sometimes we might try not to seem so distant and strange but get it into your thick skill that you should have boundaries. One time, my friend had moved out of her room and her boyfriend comes and he decides to wait for her. There was that awkward silence, he asked me over 3times how I am and I had the same reply. My point is don’t be too silent or if you feel tensed up, play some music or move out to the balcony. Some things we cannot avoid them but don’t get too cocky.

And then there is the, ‘ what if he is the love of my life gang’ huh!? Yes, God works in mysterious ways but don’t just rush to end things. ‘What if the devil is confusing you’. Talk to these individual privately, state what you need, want and why, then you can move on.
But what do I know. Tune in for part 2!

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