DISCLAIMER: THE UNDERSTANDING OF GENTLEMEN IN THIS BLOG IS NOT TIED TO ANY SPECIFIC GENDER OR SEX. HAVE AN OPEN MIND AND HOLD YOUR DOUBLE STANDARD INTACT.
dearest non-blonde,” GENTLEMEN DO HAVE EXQUISITE TASTE – BUT WHO SAID YOU WERE THEIR CUP OF TEA.”
God have we made it so hard for anyone and everyone to say anything or to express oneself. Yes, in a world filled with so many people thus we are bound to hear so many sides of the story or very many opinions which I find okay and its something we can live. But its so exhausting when we keep finding something that can hold another party in wrong and us as the victim who is right. What do I mean, every argument is seen as a gender battle, people wanting to cut down weight is seen as fat-phobia, if you haven’t experienced a certain magnitude of trauma then you are privileged human, if you aren’t angry enough then you are faking, if you aren’t up to speed with current affairs then you aren’t a concerned citizen. etc I could go on and on with these. And by the way these could happen the other-way round or as they say vice versa. We can all agree that we are falling apart. A new society that’s immersed and obsessed with entitlement and trying to work itself out of ‘past parental issues’ as we all say as we trip ourselves with so many high standards. We are in denial right from the age of 18 creating more traumas that the next generation will have to break. We are going to be the next trashy parent generation come 2040.
That aside since when is my thought or loving a slim body fat-phobic, yes we have a society that has been built and its still carrying on some ideologies about which body is more desire. We are doing great with the educating people about these ideologies but when is my experience less fouled or bad just because am not of a certain size. And this goes for people of color too. We are invalidating people’s stories and their emotions just because we assume that what they’ve gone isn’t as horrible as our experience. There was and there’s still some misjudgment and misrepresentation, there’s no way we are going to get over it if we continue passing on the same judgement that we were trying to do away with. And even when we think that we are spreading the word, we aren’t going to force people to stay in a space, body, color, culture etc that they do not find inwardly fulfilling or for whatever other reasons that they might have. Yes, we are getting big girls, slim girls to like themselves in their skin doesn’t make them less fortunate or insecure or ungrateful if they don’t want to be seen that way. it doesn’t make females less of cheats than males just because they came out to talk about cheating, there isn’t a gender war. we are so glued to pointing out the wrongs, we forget that we aren’t exactly anyone’s favorite piece of cake.
It got me thinking, never in my life have I received so much advice about anything like I have received about relationships, dating and men, not even my bad attitude at home or my bad grades in school ever called for this much need and attention like now. I hate talking to most of my friends or viewing their statuses cause all I see is marriage, engagements and how to ‘keep’ a partner. You know before I made 21, I thought my family would be so obsessive about marriage and school getting finished. Oh boy, was I wrong. Its my friends and me. We are sinking in the never ending cycle of clowning, perfect partners, marriage, spaces, entitlement, life goals and marriage is an invisible yardstick that shows success.
We are dealing with so much and the sudden shift that’s throwing me off balance is the preferences in dating or relationships. And much as we do not like it, we all have a list of what we envision our partner to be like. Double standards start off right there with our little expectations. Lately, I have been looking back at my statements that I have been throwing around when am with friends as we talk about men, I used to say stuff like, “I like my men dark or I like them with a full beard,” now where does the double standard come from, expecting the full bearded man or dark man to like you. We forget other people that we like have preferences too.
And yes, we say society laid these and it has constructed a firm obsessive structure that pushes for certain color and going for certain body trends. But have we thought about the fact that when its us talking about what we like and want in a partner when we are with friends, we want to it to be understood as us expressing ourselves or going after what we want or us setting standards but if it comes off from someone else then its a certain phobia.
At a point we are all the gentlemen that prefer certain blondes, and at sometimes we are just the non-blondes.
PS; I HAVE DOUBLE STANDARD ISSUES. I AM NOT SELF RIGHTEOUS.